I don’t think I really became a parent until my toddler vomited all over me. We were on the way to the bathroom after he started puking in his bed when he just let it go down my back. [Insert baptism joke]. I am a Real Parent now.

Our biggest mistake is having our firstborn sleep on a sheepskin from the day he came home from the hospital. It was/is a great insulating layer for a December baby but it is wool attached to leather. He has now imprinted on this ratty thing that is not easy to clean. This poor sheep has been put through the worst a newborn/infant/toddler can do.

I am tired of cleaning it then comforting a sick child while his lovey drip-drys for two days. We have two sheep but one is the obvious preference. They are named “sheep” and “other sheep.” Guess which one he prefers.

Real wool is a pain in the arse to clean when it is processed into yarn and made into garments. COLD water. NO wringing. DRY flat. There are Rules. If you break these Rules you can dress your dachshund in your once-beloved sweater. I don’t think leather is allowed to be around water. I don’t really have any skin garments and I mostly wear rubber boots so I haven’t internalized those rules yet.

But. Having to clean vomit off of your kids Comfort Item makes you pretty innovative. So I have learned how to most easily clean a sheepskin. Note: I have not tested this on larger items or ones that are used responsibly as decorative throws. My only experience is cleaning bodily fluids off and getting the thing back into a toddlers sticky hands.

How to good-enough clean a sheepskin

Extract it from your crying toddler’s grasp. Pass toddler off to Other Parent.

Throw the thing in the bathtub and run cold water over it, thoroughly soaking the hide. Squirt about a quarter size amount of gentle soap on your hands. I use the same crunchy soap I use on my two perfect children. Lather in your hands and work deeply into the pile of the sheepskin. Slush you hands around in the cold, soapy pelt. Use your fingers and a wide tooth comb to work the soap into the matted hide and loosen all the lint and dried popsicle stickiness. Turn the water back on–using the shower head–and wash the hide until no more soap comes off. It is now clean enough.

Roll the hide up and squeeze out as much water as you can. Do it again. And again. You can place the hide on a thick towel and roll the towel up, pressing out even more water.

I used to hang this sopping mess up on a rack in our mechanical room (the warmest room in our house thanks to exposed radiant heat pipe). That method works. I am here to tell you that you can dry this thing in a dryer. Yes. Put that real wool thing in the dryer. Just place it in one of those mesh lingerie bags and add another item like a towel. Dry on low-medium heat for about an hour. Remove it when still slightly damp. Leaving it in too long makes it crispy and brittle.

Return it to a happy toddler

I haven’t tried my washing machine yet. My (horrible*, new) washing machine has a Hand Wash cycle that I will try because the tub method sort of sucks. I am pretty sure my kid will barf on this again at some point in the future.

Or you could just buy your kid toys that are machine or dishwasher safe. That would be the real take away message here.

*I really hate my washing machine.